Chris
Chris is our collections officer or 'Knuckles' as she's known to the gang. She was a Pope in her early twenties but had to resign for ecumenical reasons. She went on to become the world's most successful haggis farmer after her genetic experiments resulted in 20 stone haggises with left legs longer than their right ones, which made them perfect for grazing on munros. Sadly the environmental damage wrought by those beasts was devastating and resulted in Scottish Scotland being declared a disaster zone. She is currently hiding from vengeful Green Party activists in a hut somewhere near Dundee. Funnily enough, she also failed to provide Smurf with a profile for the website.